Heita from Durban
I've been lurking on this list for months and I don't recall ever making a
comment. This will probably not go down to well but if it makes one
person's day it's cool. I've alway thought that the Simpsons were more
important than a lot of the "radical" stuff which the academy churns out.
Of course that probably says more about me than the Simpsons but what the
hell....
Stay Well
Richard
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>>> The opening credits of The Simpsons shows Bart Simpson writing the
>>> same sentence over and over again on a chalkboard, the old "write it
>>> 100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a troublemaker. Each
>>> episode is different. Someone apparently went to the trouble
>>> of taping all the Simpsons, watching them all and writing down what
>>> Bart is writing on the board. These are the collected writings of
>>> Bart Simpson from the opening credits. Even if you're not a fan,
>>> you'll like these.
>>>
>>> I will not carve gods.
>>> I will not spank others.
>>> I will not aim for the head.
>>> I will not barf unless I'm sick
>>> I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
>>> I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
>>> I will not conduct my own fire drills.
>>> Funny noises are not funny.
>>> I will not snap bras.
>>> I will not fake seizures.
>>> This punishment is not boring and pointless.
>>> My name is not Dr. Death.
>>> I will not defame New Orleans.
>>> I will not prescribe medication.
>>> I will not bury the new kid.
>>> I will not teach others to fly.
>>> I will not bring sheep to class.
>>> A burp is not an answer.
>>> Teacher is not a leper.
>>> Coffee is not for kids.
>>> I will not eat things for money.
>>> I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
>>> The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
>>> I will not call the principal "spud head".
>>> Goldfish don't bounce.
>>> Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
>>> No one is interested in my underpants.
>>> I will not sell miracle cures.
>>> I will return the seeing-eye dog.
>>> I do not have diplomatic immunity.
>>> I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
>>> I will never win an emmy.
>>> The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
>>> All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
>>> I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
>>> I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
>>> My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
>>> I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
>>> I am not deliciously saucy.
>>> Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
>>> The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
>>> I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
>>> There are plenty of businesses like show business.
>>> Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
>>> I will not waste chalk.
>>> I will not skateboard in the halls.
>>> Underwear should be worn on the inside.
>>> The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
>>> I will not torment the emotionally frail.
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